By Jaskiran Bawja
A parenting plan describes how divorced or separated parents will care for and make important decisions about their children. Each plan will be unique but all must focus on what is in the best interests of the children.
Here are some points to keep in mind as you and your ex-partner create your parenting plan.
- The plan should be in writing. That will help avoid conflict in the future.
- You do not have to use legal terminology such as “parenting time” or “decision-making responsibility.” Use terms such as “custody” and “access” if you are more comfortable with that language.
- Before you sign a parenting plan, consult a family lawyer to ensure you understand your legal rights and responsibilities. Family law is complex so legal advice is important.
- If your parenting plan is included in your order under the Divorce Act it will be legally binding. If not, you can have your parenting plan included in a provincial court order.
- It may not be possible to make a parenting plan if there has been family violence or abuse in your relationship. Co-parenting is not possible with an abusive partner who doesn't seek treatment.
- Children adjust better to separation or divorce if they have a say in decisions that affect them. If they are old enough, provide them with an opportunity to participate in discussions about parenting arrangements but avoid asking them to “choose sides” or implying that they have the final say.
What to include in a parenting plan
- Living arrangements: Will your children live only with one parent, mainly with one parent or equally in both of your homes? Will they spend most weekdays with Mom and then go back to Dad’s house for the weekend? This is a key element of any parenting plan and is largely determined by the work schedule of each parent and their availability to the children.
- Expenses: You can address issues related to payment of expenses in a parenting plan or you can deal with them as part of a more complete settlement of property and support issues. There will be ongoing extra costs with children, such as extracurricular activities, so the plan can cover those in a general manner.
- Communication: The plan should set out how you and your spouse will communicate to decide on ongoing issues such as schooling, travel, contact information and medical issues. Email or text messages are good options if there is tension between the parents. You should also agree on how you will each communicate with the children when they are with the other parent. Will there be limits on how extensive that communication should be?
- Transportation: How will the children travel between homes? Older children can take public transportation but that may not be an option if there is a significant distance between the homes. You also need to agree on who pays for transportation expenses and how pick-ups and drop-offs are coordinated.
- Belongings: Children cannot be expected to bring all their clothes and toys from one parent’s home to the other on an ongoing basis. You may need to agree to purchase additional clothing and furniture, entertainment units, etc. for each house. The agreement can spell out who pays for those items.
- Extended family: In most cases, the children will want to stay in touch with grandparents, cousins and other extended family members. Your parenting agreement can state that arrangements must be made to allow that to happen. This can be a source of conflict if one parent has issues with members of their ex-partner’s family.
- Holidays and school breaks: Who cares for the children during school breaks, statutory, civic and religious holidays? Will the children alternate between households every year for significant holidays such as Easter, Christmas, Diwali or Passover? And how will special days such as birthdays, Mother's Day or Father's Day be handled?
- Travel: Many parents want to take their children on trips, especially in the summer. The plan should spell out how long those excursions can be and if there are limits when it comes to leaving the country. Parents should be concerned if their children are being taken to a country that is not a signatory to the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction, as it is virtually impossible to enforce a Canadian custody order in those countries. And some countries may want proof that the other parent has consented to travel. See the Global Affairs Canada website for more information about travelling with children.
- Education: The plan should state what school the children will attend and which parent (or both) will be responsible for parent-teacher conferences and receiving report cards. The plan should also state who makes decisions about educational issues that may arise, such as whether a child needs tutoring or extra support. You also have to decide who will be listed as the emergency contact for the school.
- Religion: The plan should address how the parents will support the children’s religious or spiritual practices. If the parents are from different faith backgrounds that could be an issue.
- Health care: Trips to the dentist and family doctor are essential so the plan needs to spell out how those are arranged and how costs that arise are covered. It should also state who decides about vaccinations or other medical issues such as orthodontic treatment, eyeglasses and prescription drugs. If emergency medical treatment is needed, the parents need to agree on how the parents will notify each other and make decisions.
- Relocation: If one parent must relocate for work or personal reasons, that move will upend any parenting time arrangement. The plan should spell out how much notice is required for an impending relocation. Some parenting plans call for a 60-day notice as stipulated in the Divorce Act. The plan should also state that the parent who is moving must provide their new address, contact information and how they believe the parenting and any contact schedule could be changed to help support the child’s relationships with others affected by the relocation.
- Important documents: The plan should state that one parent has primary responsibility for the storing of important documents for children, such as health cards, immunization records, SIN cards, birth certificates and passports. The other parent can be given a copy of each.
- Technology: Many parents want to limit their children’s access to the internet, social media and video games, so those limits can be included in the plan and updated regularly.
- Family pets: Where are Rover and Fluffy going to live? Can the pets move between homes or just stay in one, and who will pay for veterinarian and food costs?
- Changes to the plan: Your parenting plan should include a process for reviewing arrangements at regular intervals since your children’s needs will change as they get older. Some plans call for a mediation service or other family dispute resolution process to be used if there is no agreement on proposed changes
Contact us for assistance
Creating an effective parenting plan will require input from both parents and flexibility from both sides. The team at Demas Schaefer Family Lawyers has helped many clients through this process by providing constructive and creative solutions that meet their needs. Anyone in northern Alberta can contact us for a free consultation.