By Sean Schaefer
The holiday season can be a time of joy and connection — but for separated or divorced parents, it can also bring stress and emotional strain. Managing schedules, exchanging gifts, and navigating family traditions can be difficult when children divide their time between two homes.
For many parents, the key to preserving peace and stability lies in planning ahead and communicating clearly. Co-parenting during the holidays requires flexibility, empathy and a focus on what truly matters: your children’s sense of belonging and security.
The Emotional Impact of the Holidays After Separation
According to MentalHealth.com, the holidays can intensify feelings of grief, loneliness and anxiety after a relationship ends. Parents often struggle with the idea of being apart from their children during special moments.
Children, too, may experience confusion or guilt about spending time with one parent over the other. These emotions can be amplified by the pressures of festive expectations. Recognising these feelings — and approaching them with compassion — can help everyone adjust to new traditions and routines.
Alberta’s Legal Framework for Parenting Time
Under both the Divorce Act (federal) and Alberta’s Family Law Act, parenting arrangements must always reflect the best interests of the child. That includes decisions about where children spend holidays, birthdays, and school breaks.
When a parenting plan or court order is in place, it often specifies how holidays will be shared — alternating years, dividing time equally, or agreeing to specific days.
If your agreement is silent on holiday arrangements, Alberta courts expect parents to cooperate in good faith. When disagreements arise, parents may use mediation or Judicial Dispute Resolution (JDR) before resorting to litigation.
For more information, visit Alberta Justice – Parenting after Separation.
Planning Ahead Prevents Conflict
The best way to reduce stress is to start planning early. As soon as the school calendar or holiday schedule is released, discuss potential plans with your co-parent.
Some families alternate holidays each year. Others divide time within a single holiday — for example, one parent has the children for Christmas Eve and the other for Christmas Day. What matters most is that children know in advance where they’ll be and when.
When creating or updating your parenting plan, consider:
- Travel arrangements: Who will handle transportation and expenses?
- Gift expectations: Will you coordinate gifts to avoid duplication?
- Extended family time: How will grandparents or relatives fit into the schedule?
- Special traditions: Which family customs are most meaningful to the children?
A clear plan avoids misunderstandings and ensures that both parents — and their families — can enjoy the season peacefully.
Communication Is Key
Effective co-parenting relies on respectful, business-like communication. Discuss logistics through email or shared calendars if in-person conversations feel tense.
Keep messages focused on the children’s needs and avoid emotional topics during planning. Consider tools such as OurFamilyWizard or Cozi to manage shared schedules and expenses.
When disagreements occur, try collaborative problem-solving before turning to court. Alberta’s Family Justice Strategy encourages mediation and other Alternative Dispute Resolution (ADR) options to help parents resolve issues faster and with less conflict.
Learn more: Alberta Family Justice Strategy.
Prioritising Your Children’s Experience
Children benefit most when both parents keep the focus on their comfort and joy rather than personal differences. Simple steps can help make shared holidays smoother:
- Stay positive in front of the kids. Avoid criticism of your co-parent.
- Share traditions respectfully. Children may want to maintain familiar customs from both homes.
- Be flexible. Weather, travel delays or changing emotions can disrupt even the best-laid plans.
- Keep routines consistent. Stable bedtimes, meals and boundaries provide comfort.
- Include both parents in big moments. When appropriate, sharing short celebrations — such as opening gifts together — can show unity and reduce stress for your child.
Even small gestures of cooperation can make lasting memories.
Adjusting Over Time
As children grow, their needs and priorities change. Teenagers may want to spend time with friends or alternate celebrations differently. Review your holiday plan every year and adjust as needed.
If communication becomes difficult or you can’t reach agreement, speak with a family lawyer. They can help update your parenting agreement or obtain a court order that reflects your children’s current circumstances.
How Demas Schaefer Family Lawyers Can Help
At Demas Schaefer Family Lawyers, we understand that holidays after separation can be emotionally charged and legally complex. Our lawyers help Alberta parents create or modify parenting agreements that prioritise children’s best interests while reducing conflict.
We can assist with:
- Drafting or updating parenting plans
- Negotiating holiday access schedules
- Facilitating mediation or collaborative processes
- Enforcing or varying existing court orders
Our goal is to help your family enjoy a peaceful, meaningful holiday season. Contact us today for a free 15-minute telephone or video consultation to discuss your options.