By Jaskiran Bajwa
There are many stressors in life and maintaining a healthy marriage can be challenging. Being parents of children with special needs can add to the challenge and it is not uncommon for relationships to break down.
Of course, it is not only the married couple who are impacted when a marriage fails, states Psychology Today.
“The suffering affects the entire family, including the siblings. Tension, arguing, and silent stress are like black clouds hanging over every family member. This is even more true for families with a special needs child,” the report’s author states.
Research indicates that in the United States, the rate of divorce in families with a child with disabilities may be as high as 87 per cent, according to Psychology Today.
There are many issues to consider when parents of children separate or divorce; certainly more so for parents of special needs children.
“All parents consider their children’s needs as they develop a parenting plan during the divorce process,” Psychology Today reports. “However, there are additional considerations when your child has special needs.”
When the relationship of parents of a child with special needs ends, issues of parenting arrangements, visitation and financial support can present added challenges and navigating the process requires an understanding of the practical and legal aspects involved.
The team at Demas Schaefer Family Lawyers realizes your children’s welfare is of the utmost importance to you. We are here to guide you through the process of ensuring they are appropriately cared for as you move forward with a new stage of your life.
Child support is a legal obligation
It goes without saying that parents have a legal obligation to financially support their dependent children. That obligation continues after separation or divorce.
The Alberta Court of Justice notes “the presumptive rule is that following a relationship breakdown a natural parent of a child must pay child support for that child while the child is under the age of majority, and often until the child has finished a first post-secondary degree or diploma.”
This support covers such costs associated with their child’s living expenses as food, clothing, school supplies and other basics.
Support is typically based on income, which can be assessed by each spouse’s annual tax return or the financial records of any corporation they control.
Understanding Section 7 expenses
Some expenses are not covered in the fixed amount of basic child support. These are known as extraordinary or special expenses and are addressed by Section 7 of the Federal Child Support Guidelines.
The Department of Justice states the purpose of the guidelines “is to establish a fair standard of support for children that ensures that they continue to benefit from the financial means of both spouses.” Section 7 expenses can include:
- Child care expenses incurred as a result of the employment, illness, disability or education or training for employment of the spouse who has the majority of parenting time;
- Medical and dental insurance premiums attributable to the child;
- Health-related expenses that exceed insurance reimbursement by at least $100 annually, including professional counselling provided by a psychologist, social worker, psychiatrist or any other person, physiotherapy, occupational therapy, speech therapy and prescription drugs, hearing aids, glasses and contact lenses;
- Extraordinary expenses for primary or secondary school education or for any other educational programs that meet the child’s particular needs;
- Expenses for post-secondary education; and
- Extraordinary expenses for extracurricular activities.
The court will examine applications for Section 7 expenses and determine if they are reasonable and necessary. You will be expected to provide proof, such as reports from medical professions and receipts for out-of-pocket expenses.
Keep the lines of communication open
It can be difficult to be congenial during a divorce, especially if the breakup is acrimonious. However, it is important to remember that your children will be best served if you and your former spouse can communicate effectively and find a way to co-parent co-operatively.
The care your child needs can require not only time and energy but the acquisition of specific skills. It can be demanding for parents, especially during a divorce, but finding a way to make the child’s specific needs a priority is vital. Communication is key.
“When parents do not share a consistent approach, a child who requires consistency may struggle, and so parents must openly discuss their inclinations with each other, and how they can adapt and work together to create a reliable home environment, while always emphasizing attention, nurturing, and affection,” states Psychology Today. “It also becomes more important for parents not to negate or contradict each other, especially in front of their child.”
Divorced parents of special needs must be able to find a way to co-parent. Open and transparent communication ensures both parents are up-to-date on medical issues or changes in caregiving routines that could impact your child.
Find a way to share information on a regular basis. That could mean weekly meetings, phone calls or emails to ensure both parents are aware of any new or developing issues. Remember to keep detailed records.
Stability and consistency are important
All children benefit from stability and consistency and divorce can have an impact on their mental health, social interactions and academic performance.
For children with a disability, establishing a consistent routine “can not only foster stability but also promote a sense of security, skill development, and overall well-being,” according to psychologists at Measuring Minds.
“Children with disabilities often face challenges that make navigating the world around them more complex,” they explain. “A structured routine provides predictability, alleviating anxiety and offering a comfort zone where they know what to expect.”
Avoiding disruptions that can upset your child’s routine requires collaboration. Measuring Minds suggests creating a routine, employing the following strategies:
- Assess your child’s needs and interests. This can entail working with professionals to design activities that align with their interests.
- Create visual schedules. Using pictures or symbols can clarify expectations for children with cognitive or communication difficulties.
- Encourage your child to participate in setting routines. This allows them to have a sense of ownership and control.
- Provide positive reinforcement, such praise or small rewards. It can motivate and reinforce desired behaviors.
- Remember to remain flexible. Consistency is vital but flexibility ensures your child’s routine can adapt to their evolving needs or any unexpected life events.
Seek legal advice
Divorces involving special needs children often require careful consideration and planning. It can also come with significant financial repercussions. Your child might require specialized medical treatment and therapies. You will need to develop a plan to determine how expenses will be shared which could include provisions for special needs trusts. Keep in mind any government supports your child may be entitled to when negotiating your agreement.
Create a parenting plan that covers issues such as how decisions are made regarding your child, including educational support, holiday scheduling and how parenting time is allotted. Remember also that parenting agreements typically end when the child reaches the age of majority. However, support for a special needs child may continue past the age of 18 at the discretion of the court.
You and your ex will need to consider any increased financial burdens, potentially complex custody arrangements and the possible disruptions to your child's care and routine.
It is also essential to recognize that any agreement you make may need to be updated as your child gets older and their needs change.
The law is complex which is why it is in your best interest to seek sound legal advice. At Demas Schaefer Family Lawyers our goal is to provide cost effective and constructive solutions to the problems that our clients are facing. Contact us today to learn how we can help you.